October 2016 – The Independent Learner

Facing Adversity

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger”.

This statement is first credited to German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche in 1888, but in the not too distant past (2011) was used repeatedly in a song by Kelly Clarkson called Stronger. I don’t believe this quote is true in all circumstances, but in many cases there are some obvious benefits of going through trials and tribulations.

Although not many people would choose struggles over prosperity, going through difficult times can help develop important character qualities. To illustrate the importance of facing adversity, I would like to share a brief synopsis of a couple famous Americans and their ability in overcoming obstacles:

One of the most beloved United States Presidents, Abraham Lincoln, lost eight different elections, had two failed business ventures and had a nervous breakdown before he became our sixteenth President in 1860.

Talk show star, Oprah Winfrey, was born to single teenage mother in Mississippi; was physically abused; became pregnant at 14 and lost her baby; and was shuttled back and forth to various family members. Today, Oprah has her own cable network and became the first African-American billionaire.

Abraham Lincoln and Oprah Winfrey are just two examples of people who have faced adversity and were able to use their setbacks as fuel for success.

How did they do it and how can you get through tough situations?

Below are three principles that should help:

Work hard! Nothing can take the place of putting forth great effort. You would be surprised what you can overcome with just giving your best.
Get help! It is not a sign of weakness to ask for assistance. If a situation is overwhelming or you need someone else’s perspective, be sure to enlist their help.
Don’t give up! This may be the most difficult, because in our high tech world we are used to instant results. This is not always the way of life. Many great things take time. Remember this wise saying by William Edward Hickson: “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again”.

One of my students at the University of Nebraska High School recently shared an important perspective on facing adversity: “I believe the struggles you have do not determine the kind of person you are or will be, but rather are an influence on your outlook on the world—which is why our struggles make us wiser.”

Who doesn’t want to become wiser?

Technology – Should We Be Worried?

I am fascinated by the technology and its prevalence among our youth. I am envious as I watch many students and some adults type away so easily on their hand held devices, their thumbs are moving over these screens like expert typists! I, on the other hand, struggle with texting on my iPhone. Ten minutes after I have finally completed my six to ten words, I am proud to hit send.

When I am in public, I look around and can see that the majority of the people around me are usually on their cell phones. There are times I’ve wondered, should we be worried about this mesmerizing kind of obsession on these devices? Is this fixation really good for all of us? Isn’t this a wasted opportunity for human to human interaction? Should we be worried?

Will we raise a generation of students who have never really seen the sky because they don’t look up from their screens as they stumble along on the streets and sidewalks? Even as students walk in packs, they are all focusing on their own devices and in many instances, are actually texting and communicating to the person right next to them, instead of using the verbal language. Thus, I am sometimes concerned that students aren’t practicing much in the way of verbal and conversational skills that often come with more richness and quality of exchanges. Should we be worried?

I continue to try to deal with and learn the newer technology, feeling that I’m just getting further behind with all the new advances. I’ve noticed that my students are like sponges with this stuff, as they pick up the newest apps and latest devices with ease. I do love to see their quick ability to adapt to all these changes that push and tug at me constantly. So, should we be worried?

I am not going to worry. I have faith that when each student needs to discover the sky and the world around them, they’ll look up.

I have confidence that they will continue to learn, perhaps learn more than one thinks, and be able to communicate with these devices so that others understand them. We are more connected today with others all over the world because of these devices, but I hope we’ll also learn and understand that there is relevance and importance in speaking directly to others, conversing and expressing yourself verbally. And for those of us that came into this world slightly later than the devices, we’ll continue to be able to observe, listen, talk, and discuss how these devices are helping, hindering and stretching our own growth and learning.

And to parents with kids and even to teachers alike, this request: please, please reflect on when and where you and your children are using these devices so that you don’t lose opportunities to connect in the most human of ways with your kids/students—through daily conversation with them!

Hello, Is Anyone Listening?

I read a brief article from the publication The Master Teacher (Volume 48, No. 24), a series of professional development brochures that administrators and teachers can sign up to receive throughout the school year. This particular brochure talked about the importance of teaching listening skills. The article titled, Teaching Students a Neglected Life and Literacy Skill, had me reflecting on my own listening skills. Yes, we often teach the importance of reading, writing and speaking, but the listening skills are often taken for granted—and we can do something about that.

There are a number of strategies that we can use with students on a daily basis to improve our listening skills and make our teaching more effective for them.

Stop and make time to listen. You may have heard the expression, “be fully present”. This is particularly important in listening to others. It’s necessary to block out all the distractions and the noise around you. People can tell when you are fully present.
Make eye contact. You don’t need to stare at the person every minute, however strong eye contact shows you are paying attention and care about what the other person is talking about.
Practice empathy. Taking another’s position or point of view is difficult for us sometimes. By simply putting yourself in their shoes for a while, you can get a feel for what they are expressing and more importantly, why they feel this way. This is missing in lots of the political debates going on right now.
Ask questions. By asking questions, the listener is gathering more detail to better understand what the other party is saying. Ask questions that are inquisitive, insightful and intelligent—ones that truly help you understand the other person.

Listening has become an even more critical skill in our daily life these days as we are forced to make hundreds of decisions and many times, with little data or little time. Think about your daily conversations with the people around you—do you really use these strategies?

If you focus on being a better listener, good things happen—good luck!

Other resources: Leadership For Teenagers by Carol Carter and Maureen Breeze, 2011, p.125.”